The post I had written up before 000webhost and joomla fucked it up and made it disappear, and I fucked up by not saving a backup. Not the exact post, but the same essentially. With the cartoon, too. Enjoy. Not AS promised, but definitely something of better quality.
Would it be or would it be not awesome if magic really did exist? I mean, not accounting the numerous hacks abusing the power to wreck havoc on the world, but that can't be helped.
In some ways, populace of the D&D world has it easy. Err. Apart from all the villages getting pillaged and wrath of angry gods. In our world, you break a bone and it’ll take you months and years to get back a fraction of your former functionability. On the other hand, if magic existed? Let’s consider a scenario, shall we?
You’re a cleric of the god Lathander, and you’re wandering around the outskirts of a city with your companion – we’ll call him Bob – say, you and your fighter companion Bob are wandering around the outskirts of a city, with Bob providing protection services in the case of some trouble, and indeed, trouble there is.
You and your friend are minding your own business chatting about the weather and multiclassing when a couple of angry dwarves suddenly appear from behind the bush. You know that they’re dwarves because they’re short, bulky, has a forest of a beard- all the dwarf requirements, that is. And you know that they’re angry because you can see it in their face, not to mention the axes and swords aimed at your abdomen.
Without further ado, the dwarves ask for all your valuables. You’re clearly outnumbered, but you aren’t particularly bothered because you have with you Bob, a large human moderate level fighter, and if you can guess correctly, the dwarves aren’t any of those. You politely refuse the dwarves their offer. Aggravated further, the lead dwarf calls out, “You asked fo’ it then, you twit.”
He swings his axe, and if it weren’t for your being more dexterous than average, you are sure your legs would have been cleaved off your body. You quickly backstep behind Bob casting enlarge person on him, who happened to have just stepped up. The combination of him becoming bigger and stepping up to the plate at the same time had a staggering effect on their small hostile enemies. Though clearly outnumbered, most of them were by no means lacking intelligence. Not all fighters were dumb. The ones that weren’t scarpered off into the general direction of the woods.
The rest decided the stuff they’d loot off these two twats would be worth the risk. And so Bob began the slaughter. His bastard sword flailed about in smooth arcs and dashing swoops, and it wasn’t long before all but two of the angry dwarves stood remaining. More fearful than angry now, at any rate. One of them gained a circumstantial intelligence bonus, and gripping his axe tightly as he could, he threw it at Bob and ran off into the forest as well. Bob, larger now and slower as well, failed to dodge the deadly axe. Despite the armour he was around, and the armor bonus from the buffs you cast, the axe struck him at the torso piercing the hard metal and lodged just a bit into Bob’s ribs. With an agonizing scream, Bob fell to the ground.
You meanwhile had been casting a few curse spells at the ones calling you twats. You threw in a flame strike, too. But, it seemed you had to take the front now. Casting a cure moderate wounds at Bob to make sure he doesn’t die, you stepped into the fray with your mace in hand. The dwarf had taken out a knife with the loss of his axe. The two of you circled around. Your spell ready, you cast divine might on yourself and bobbed the little angry guy on the head with your mace. It clearly smashed the skull, because red things began to ooze out.
You turned to Bob who was trying to take the axe out, like he had a death wish or something. You cast some preparatory spells to dull him from the pain and pull the axe out, quickly casting a cure light wounds to seal the skin. A few seconds passed as you prepared to cast another spell, and lo, Heal was cast, and Bob the fighter was all better now. Bob thanked you mightily and stood up, examining the axe. Deeming it useless he threw it aside and picked up his own bloody bastard sword.
The two of you began chatting about the weather and multiclassing again, deviating for a bit into the topic of why none of the dwarves had a spellcaster on them. n00bs, both of you commented and went on your way towards the Church of Lathander with a heavier purse and more experience, with a few trinkets thrown in. No splint, no bandages, no stitches, no agonizing setting of the broken bone, no new bone/skin growth, no infection, no months of spending time on therapy to get the use of your torso back to normal.
All’s well that ends well, ay?
- E
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